I Give, Therefore I Love

There are few experiences in life as powerful and transformative as love.  And yet, there are few words as difficult to define.

Lucky for me I found the perfect mate.  We have an anniversary coming up at the end of this month.  We have had ups and downs as in most marriages.  I really have no words of wisdom to share on how to make a marriage perfect.  Two humans living together, bound by an oath, doesn’t make for perfection.  Yet here we are, still bound by love,

Contemporary Western culture is obsessed with love, particularly romantic love.  Movies, books, songs, advice columns, talk shows, tabloids.  We are saturated with images and stories of love lost, won, renewed and unrequited. 

And yet, when one compares the idealized version of love glorified in popular culture with the real statistics there is a sharply increasing divorce rate, broken families, and millions of chronically lonely people.  There is a profound disconnect between our idyllic expectations and actual reality. 

Love, therefore, is multifaceted and complex.  Our Lord demonstrated real love.  He preached love as well as lived it.  He was in fact teaching the precepts of the Hebrew word for love……….Ahavah. 

The Hebrew word, Ahavah, means to give.  Hebrew language is wonderful and complex.  Within each word are several layers of meaning.   Ahavah is derived from the word hav which means to give, revealing the Lord was teaching that love involves forgiveness and giving! 

Love is not all about you.  Real love calls us out of the confines of ourselves and into the wilderness of relationships!! 
It is a transformative experience that dethrones our egos and puts us to work in the fulfillment of the needs and desires of another.

True love then, is not about how you feel but it’s  how you make others feel when they are with you!! 

There is also another facet to the word Ahavah. 

Love is not primarily about how you feel but what you do!  It’s the doing that demonstrates true love. 

Jeshua (Jesus) commanded us to “love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matt 23:39) How can we be commanded to feel something for those we don’t have feelings for?  One answer to that command is not to focus on our internal feelings but on external actions!

An old rabbi said.”  That which is hateful to you, do not do unto others.”  That’s the negative comment.  The positive one is “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” (Luke 6:31) Both apply.

Our feelings are secondary to our actions and how we treat and relate to others.  Feelings keep us focused on self; actions are what connect us to others. 

Since the root of the word Ahavah is based on giving, the philosophy then becomes…….the more we give the more we love!

In the final analysis, the emotional sensation we call love is, in fact, a creation generated by our thoughts, words, and deeds which cause us to put action into our emotions.   
                    I give therefore I love!  Ahavah!!!