The Mirror

What do you see when looking in a mirror?  Of course, you see a reflection of yourself.  Not your true self. You see only the reflection of your outward self. 

We want to appear our best in front of others.

 What do people think of me? That’s a futile question.  It’s like asking what color is a mirror?  The mirror is simply a reflection of what stands in front of it.

So too, when you’re guessing what other people are thinking, you’re really only projecting your own feelings onto them. 

An old teacher said……..”We are all mirrors for one another.  When you see things, you don’t like in another person, most likely its actually something you don’t like about yourself.”

Take the person who is convinced people are thinking bad things about him.  Why does he think that?   He imagines they are thinking bad things about him! This may or may not be true, but in the person’s mind, he is convinced they don’t like him.

 The whole business of “what do they think of me” is nothing more than an exercise…….a whole gymnasium………in futility.    

                                    What should you do instead?

Perhaps you shouldn’t care what others think about you.  Your life is between you and God.  Your relationship with Him is forever!

 But now we live in this world.

Humans all communicate.  We communicate by talking with each other. The most basic word necessary for talking to others is of course, “you”.  To effectively communicate with others, you need to have some concept of what the other person is hearing you say.

However, communication isn’t a one-way street!  It is about hearing them………..really hearing and really listening!  This takes a huge amount of cerebral activity.  Your mind must process the information that they are telling you. 

Now you are seeing a reflection of the other person instead of yourself. You are seeing them as an individual. You become aware of their needs and desires.  It’s your opening to avoid thinking only about yourself but focusing on them.

Okay, so you need to ensure others have a good concept of you, what do you do?

Switch the focus.  Drop the “me” paradigm.  In the place of “what are they thinking about me? “ think, what is special and precious about this person. Respect them.  Care about them. Ask, “How are things going for you?”

Now you have made the first big step. You have gotten out of yourself and into the world of the other guy.  You have become a better person. 

So instead of the image you saw in the mirror, you now have a new reflection.   Your image will be softer, sweeter because you have changed the old reflection “of what do they think of me” into “what can I do for them?”