Helping Candle Lighters

                     It is human nature to help others in need. 

See that woman looking cross and angry?  How can I help?  See the look of that of the guy sitting on the curb? He might be hungry.  We want to help him.  It’s what we do as humans. 

However, the urge to give can sometimes be self-serving, especially when it leaves the recipient in a state of interminable dependence.  To give someone the gift of independence, however, is to help them stand on their own two feet. 

I have a friend who is a mentor at HopeWorks.  It is a Christian outreach here in Memphis.  People come and go but each one has a special need of some sort and they come seeking advice or help.  It’s all about helping people help themselves.

We as parents have this impulse to constantly tend to our children’s every whim and wants.  But our job is not to focus on what they want but on their needs.  We want to develop in them the necessary skills for them to succeed in life on their own.  We want to raise well-adjusted independent human beings!

So, it must be with our interactions with those in need.  You and I must help them to be able to help themselves.  As the famous saying goes: “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day: teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

One might think that a gift is nobler than a loan: after all, a loan is returned, while a gift requires us to give by helping someone in need without repayment.  That’s true.  We do give gifts of charity.  Seeing someone who is lacking in the necessities of life requires us to give without expecting anything in return. However, I am talking about dependency.

 Even loans might not be good.  The loaner expects to have the loan paid back at some point.  The loanee, even with a written agreement, ofttimes neglect repayment or else now avoids you completely.  Thereby you have lost both money and also lost a friend.  

We might apply loaning and giving to education.  It should be the goal of educators to convey information so that students are able to provide for themselves and not simply regurgitate what they have heard the professors say.  The objectives should be educating students to be well-adjusted human beings, enabling them to become independently proficient and empowering them to study and acquire knowledge on their own.

All these insights underscore the same basic truth. Whether we are talking about someone’s financial, educational, or spiritual needs, the greatest gift one can give another is the resources and skills necessary for them to provide for themselves and take charge of their own destiny.

Here is a story that I heard years ago.   A famous teacher invited students to his home to study by asking questions and giving answers. There was a lone candle on the mantal of the fireplace which was unlit.   After a long period of discussion one of his students who had noticed the candle asked the teacher.  “Are you ready to light the candle?  No, said the teacher.  I provide the candle and I provide you with the match.  Only you can light your own candle.”

              You must now help someone be their own candlelighter.

Did The Devil Make Me Do It?

                If the Devil made me do it then I’m not responsible!
 When reading Genesis we see that God’s first family is in big trouble. There is already jealousy and hatred.  Hatred enough to kill. 

God has always given man a choice. 

We can learn an important lesson from the story of Cain and Abel and how we are the masters of making our own decisions. 

Cain was an agrarian, one who worked the land and Abel was a herdsman raising livestock.  They both brought offerings before the Lord. 

As the story goes, God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected Cain’s.  You know the story.  (Genesis 4: (2-5)

Because Cain was jealous of his brother, Abel, he lured his brother out into a field where he killed him.  Before this happened, however, the Lord noticed Cain’s sullen attitude and his resentment toward his brother.  He warned Cain about this, saying:

            “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door.  Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.  (Gen: 4: 6-7) 

In His admonition to Cain, the Lord made it clear that he, Cain, had the ability to overcome the cancer of sin that was growing in his heart.  He told Cain that his choices and his actions would set the stage for whether or not sin would be able to dominate him.  He was letting Cain know that the choice was fully in his hands not some outside force (Satan). Cain was not merely the victim of his sinful nature but had the ability to conquer it! 

We would all do well to heed the Lord’s instruction to Cain.  Every day we each have a choice as to what we will do.  We can listen to the lies of the Adversary,
( aka Satan) or we can listen to the truth of what God tells us. 

An old rabbi once said, “When we first give in to sin it seems as thin and breakable as a spider’s web. But through our continued submission to sin it will eventually become as thick and as strong as a ship’s rope.”

When we “flee” from sin we are strengthened in our connection to God.  It will make it easier to choose what is right and resist temptation when we face our next decision. 

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” didn’t work for Cain, nor his mother, Eve, blaming the serpent.  Just like us, they were both accountable for their actions.  James, the brother of our Master Jeshua/Jesus confirms this by telling us………….

“Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15)

We all have the ability to make either good choices or bad choices.  When we are faced with temptation, we must remember God’s instruction to Cain, “You  must rule over it.” 

                The choice is yours……..The Devil Didn’t Make You Do It!!

Have You Got a Chunk of God?

                         Imagine you woke up one morning to discover that God had just placed a chunk of Himself inside you.  What would be your expectations?  That you would be invincible, omnipotent, capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound!!  Wait, that was Superman.  But now you could be more than a Superman!   

                                                   Look and see!

See that elderly man suffering from dementia?  He has a chunk of God inside him.

See that obnoxious bully making trouble on the playground?  He too has a chunk of God. 

                                                And so do you!      

It’s right there in the story of the Creation.   The first human beings in Genesis.  After God created Adam, He “blew into his nostrils the breath of life.” So, God implanted a sample of Himself into all human beings.  So, is that the end of God’s chunk?  Did it all end at the beginning? 

Because God is perfect in all aspects, we are given only a sample of his essence.

So, when the waiter brings you a sip of wine from the bottle, you aren’t getting the whole thing but with one sample you’ve tasted all of it! So too, with that one God chunk/breath/ sample inside you, you’ve got all of Him.  God uploaded the essence of His Being into you as a human.  Just as He did to Adam. 

But hey, if you suffer pain and get in trouble, in what way is this chunk inside you? 

He has given us the power of choosing. He has given us mores and values and rules and desires and hopes and dreams. He has placed us in an imperfect world where bad things do happen to good people.

                                       All this comes from Him.
But what about the Bad Guys…..don’t they have that chunk of God?

Of course, but they have chosen to ignore it or never realized the chunk in the first place.  Helping those who have ignored the neshamah (Hebrew for spirit) becomes the work to those of us who realize the reality of that little piece of God within us.  It’s not an easy task but this is what God desires of us.  

However, when we really look around us and let go of our own egos in order to bring about the reality of God to others, we now read the Gospels with the realization that Jeshua was distilling this God chunk into His disciples and now into us.

We are only mere humans but what a gift we have!  It’s God’s giving us a piece of Himself. 

            It’s that chunk of God that gives us hope and true peace.          

Living in Memphis can be challenging at times.  This past year our little community has experienced many occasions when we simply lose power.  Sometimes during a rainstorm or for no apparent reason at all!

So, what does one do without power.  No TV, no computer, no internet!  I must admit I can never quite adjust to being without this “luxury”.  I would make a horrible pioneer woman. 

So, what to do?  We sit on our porch and hear the birds singing; I can hear sounds of nature!  It’s a chance to sit with my husband and carry on a conversation. 

I can focus on things that really matter!  How grateful I am for friends. I remember the thoughtfulness of others, both in prayer and just being there for me.  Those who would drop everything to help us.

My loving family.  I urge you to reconnect. Don’t let petty grievances stop you.

My old car is still running; fresh iced tea that was made; food in the pantry; yummy chocolate cake……… but also, how many blessings that God has given me………….and you!

Soon the power will be back.  Back to our usual routine.  The power outage of yesterday allowed me to recalibrate the significance of things.   To really see that gratitude is the best way to measure the sanctity of one’s life.  The power outage allowed me a measured space for silence.

As I walked around my home today, I say a bit wryly, out loud, thanks, God that the electricity is on.  The newscaster on TV is animatedly describing the weather for the week, whatever it will be.  I also mourn for those who have suffered from the ravages of hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, and lack of power for weeks. 

As much as I express the gratitude of those few hours without power, I’m still happy that there is come of the scrumptious chocolate cake in the fridge!

Can Prayer Change Reality?

There is a joke about an atheist who decided to open a nightclub directly across from a Church building.  The Believers were in an uproar.
They held nightly, outdoor prayer sessions begging God not to allow the club to open.

The man scoffed and went right ahead with his plans.  However, in a shocking turn of events, two weeks before the grand opening, lightning struck the club, and it burned to the ground.

The club owner sued the little group of Believers on the grounds that their prayers destroyed his club.  The group of Believers, on the other hand, denied responsibility, saying there was no direct connection between their prayers and the lightning striking the club.   

The judge reviewed the case and remarked,” Wow! Seems we have a nightclub owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire congregation that doesn’t.”

Does prayer really make a difference?  Or is it pragmatic, diplomatic, and human efforts that determine the course of reality?  Is it the businessman’s acumen and good sense that makes him wealthy, or his prayer and God’s subsequent blessing?       
                      
                                               Is it Both?                    

 I love the story of Esther.  She was a survivor.  She teaches us that while practical actions are necessary to succeed in any endeavor, spiritual efforts have the real impact in awarding  God’s blessings.

 Haman and his people who were Agagites, have a long history of hating the Jews.  They were bent on exterminating the Mordechai and all his people.  Both peoples were taken into captivity by the Persians. Although Haman had influence with the king, Esther became his queen. Haman used his influence with king to try to eliminate all Jews in Persia.

Esther knew she had to act.  While she did indeed plan on trying the diplomatic route, she had other thoughts on her agenda as well.  She asked Mordechai, her adopted father and all Jews, to arrange a public fast for three days.  She felt that the dire situation called for fasting and imploring God to save His people.

She included herself and those around her also to do the same.   I’m sure the beautiful Esther must have looked worn and haggard after fasting and praying for three days. 

If her plan was to persuade her husband, King Ahasuerus, to save her nation, wouldn’t it be a better plan to look her best?  Rather than focus on repentance and fasting, shouldn’t she have taken a more pragmatic and polished approach?  Shouldn’t she have tried her best to find favor in the king’s eyes?  Of course, we know that she did have a plan.  One that would save her people.

But Esther was aware of the truth. She knew that the cause of the decree against the Jews was spiritual in nature.   While it was necessary to take practical action, she also knew that it was important for Divine intervention to prevent Haman from carrying out his plan of extermination.   

Esther intended to diplomatically convince the king to save the Jews, but it was her heartfelt prayer that was the catalyst for her success.  She followed up with a plan and the Jewish people were saved

For Us:  Prayer, followed by a plan of action.   Can’t go wrong with that!

          The Big Repeat/Doing Teshuvah

Most of us don’t celebrate Rosh HaShanah. It starts on September 16^th this year.   In Hebrew it means “Head of the Year”.  In other words, this is a New Year to Jews.  Following the blowing of the shofar, (those funny looking Ram’s horns) there is a big celebration.  However, this leads up to Yom Kippur. 

 There are 10 days between Rosh HaShanah and Yon Kippur called the Days of Awe.  This is when the observant Jews and Messianic Believers focus on repentance and asking forgiveness from anyone whom they have insulted or injured in anyway. Getting themselves right with God. Focusing on the wrongs they have done. We have our Messiah Jeshua/Jesus who has taken our sins and offered Himself as our repentance.  But where does that leave us? 

In Hebrew the word for repentance is teshuvah.  It’s a good word and as in most Hebrew words it has many meanings but mainly regretting and repenting of past mistakes.  As Believers, this is what we need in our lives every day. 

But after we knowingly make a mistake and repeat the same transgression again what should we do?  For example, I resolve not to speak badly of others, but after a short while I am back to my old bad habit.  Does this mean that my teshuvah was insincere? 

If we are faced with the same temptations but truly and sincerely refrain from acting on them, we have rightfully come to terms with repentance!!  But what if I repeat the error?  It is possible to have very genuine feelings of teshuvah but still mess up again. 

We’re all humans, subject to highs and lows.  We often repeat our mistakes.  It’s time for us to rethink if we are truly sincere in our repentance.  But there is more that just asking God to forgive us. 

Teshuvah, on its most basic level, consists of three ingredients: a) Remorse for the bad that was done. b) Resolving never to do the offensive act again. c) Connecting with the person or persons with whom we seek forgiveness. 

 With those thoughts in mind, you and I must examine ourselves in the light of what Jeshua teaches us.  See Matthew 18:21 as well as the Parable of the Prodigal Son. Forgiveness/Repentance go hand in hand!

In seeking forgiveness and repentance, Jeshua told us to lay our gifts on the “altar” but first go to the person we have offended and seek forgiveness.

   That’s Teshuvah.

How to Find Meaning.

When we face life’s problems we are often confused where to find a meaning in our lives.  What is this business called life and how are we to live it? 

According to Freud, the primary drive of man is the pursuit of pleasure. 
Nietzsche contends it is power.  But Viktor Frankl, believes the primary goal of man is not pleasure or power, but a search for meaning. 

Viktor Frankl was a German Jew taken to various concentration camps.  He suffered for three years during the Holocaust and endured the murder of his entire family and pregnant wife.  He himself was a survivor but was witness to the atrocities that man endured while being tormented and enslaved in Germany’s worst concentration camps.  He observed that those men who lost faith or saw only the hopelessness of their life were the first to die.  Those who looked beyond the walls of their prison saw hope in the future that at some point they would be rescued were the survivors.

From his observation, Frankl wrote this little book called The Search for Meaning. When I pulled it from my library shelf, I decided to write this blog centered on his writings. 

So, if a human beings’ primary drive is the search for meaning, where do we look?  If it’s not in the Himalayas, the ashram, the shrink’s couch, the self-help section of the bookstore, the office, the lab, the studio, the field or even the sanctuary, then where?

When Moses was speaking his final words to the Hebrews before God took him, he tells us where to look. “it is not in heaven, nor is it across the sea. Rather, the matter is very near to you, in your mouth and your heart to perform it.”

What is this matter ‘that is near and dear that we are to perform? “

It’s the very words of our Messiah speaking to the scribe who came to Him.  “Rabbi, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”    

Jeshua’s reply” You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the great and first commandment.  And the second is like it “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.  On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”  

And that is the challenge for us.  To walk in His ways and observing his commandments which Jesus/Jeshua clarified for us. 

When our hearts beat with the knowledge of this truth within us, then as Moses said……the “matter” is in our mouths.  It drives our speech and our actions.  It’s who we are at our core. It’s who we should be or to become. 
1.  What are three things you are looking for in your life? 
           Where have you been looking?

           2. Will external things make us happy or give us real peace? 

           3. Look within yourself.  Focus on the strength, abilities, talents
               and gifts that you have been given. Do all to help your fellow man. Seek God and His righteousness and all these things will be given you. Now how will you use these gifts?

                                      Then……………

                    You will find the true meaning of life!

                                It’s Never too Late

There is an old Jewish Rabbi who said…..”Repent one day before your death”  One of his disciples asked him does a man know on which day he will die”?  The old Rabbi answered him…….”So that being the case, you should repent today, for perhaps tomorrow you will die.  Everyday is a good day to repent.” 

None  of us knows the day we will die……. we leave that up to God.  But when considering that none of us know the answer to our death, we must be mindful that each day could be our last.  It’s a question you must ask yourself. 

Ok if today is my last day on earth I will have the Nachos Grande (with sour cream of course) an order of mozzarella cheese sticks and a pineapple mojito.  Veggie burger on a lettuce wrap? I don’t think so.

In other words, “Seize the day!” doesn’t necessarily lead me to the right place. 

Instead of pretending that today was the last day of your life, what if you were to realize, instead………. that it’s the first day of the rest of your life?  What if you could make use of each day as a gift? 

When an upset intrudes into my life, I ask myself whether this state of affairs will exist or matter at the end of my life?? I probably won’t even remember something that is bothering me now might indeed give me the healthy perspective  I need to make better choices about how to cope with future problems. 

Could projecting ourselves into the future shape better decisions for what we do today?  Perhaps we should all sit down and write a letter to our future selves.  Perhaps a simple letter written to yourself and where you want to be in 20 years or if you are like me…..perhaps five!

Can you craft a better vision for yourself?  What truly matters in life? 

Try writing your own obituary.  How do you want to be remembered?  What do you want your loved ones to say about you and to have learned from you?  What do you want to leave as your legacy?

  And then work your way backward to today and make choices that are designed to get you there.  It’s never too late to do the right things. 

You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.   Do something today your future self will thank you for:  it’s easier than you think.

1.  When writing your own obituary, how did that make you feel? Do you feel you have lived up to your full potential?  Have you lived in peace with others?  Have you done worthy things to help others feel good about themselves and shown them love and support?  How do you feel about your own life? 

2.  Think about a mistake you have made.  How did that affect you now?  Has it changed your perspective on life and doing things differently.

3.  What is something you are worried about now? Is it something fixable? Will it be something that stays with you in the future?  How will this affect your life 10 years from now?

It’s never to be late to change your life.  Its never too late to be the person you know that God wants you to be. 

It’s never too late!! 

                                    Needing more self-control? 

 I don’t like to make commitments.  Perhaps I should try to seek more self-control in my life.  I could cut down on screen time, exercise more and eat all those green leafy veggies.   Perhaps just one more cookie! 

Many people think that most of our problems are the lack of self-control.  But self- control is a misnomer and when we focus too much on it, we are setting ourselves up for failure.  The problem with self-control is that it means my self is in control and that’s the last thing I want.  What I really want is to be less self-focused, not more.  The time I spend struggling with myself not to eat a cookie is the time and energy that could have been put to better use.  I don’t’ want to spend my life getting into fights with cookies.  I have other things to do. 

Usually when we are motivated to change a character trait, it is because we hope to enhance ourselves somehow; to be successful at work, to have a healthier body, to be respected and admired by others.  At the root of the motivation is what is good for me.  I want to be a better person.  I want to feel successful, fulfilled, perfected. 

Our Lord, Jeshua (Jesus) always preached renewing one’s heart. Kindness, gentleness; goodness toward others.  He knew us and how we want to be in control of everything.  He emphasized the shift from a more self-centered life to a more Godly one.  Self-perfection is the not the goal.  Our purpose in building character is not to be more successful or accomplished but to become the person that God wants us to be.    

Rabbi Paul used the term of self-control in many of his letters. ( Gal. 5:23; 1^st Cor. 7:5; 2 Tim. 3:3).  These were written mostly to Gentile converts who had a lust for many of their pagan lifestyles.  Once they became believers, he expected them to gain control over their former lusts.   He wanted their lives to be controlled by their newfound Messiah. 

We find ourselves wanting a closer relationship to God, but our worldly desires keep dragging us down.  We keep pushing away the same negative thoughts dozens of times….. but perhaps each time helps us to be more dependent on God and less on ourselves!!!!  That would bring Him pleasure.  A stronger relationship with Him.

                                          Less self-control means more God control! 

                                        The Lonely Sock

 My washer annoys me.  I put two socks in and only one came back.

I saw a joke which I still remember and laugh.   There was a group of socks lined up ready to be washed and the commander of the socks , who stood with his full miliary gear, said.  “Ok, boys. We are all going in but not all of us will come back”!!

I think perhaps the lonely sock might be an apt metaphor for life.  Are you a lonely sock? 

Life as we know it is but half ……..of its full magnitude.  We only see half the picture. The whole of the world was created by God, so we are here to be used to serve Him. 

He created the words of scripture by which we live today.   He allowed us to be wealthy so that we could serve others.  He created the food that we love and enjoy.  Everything that God made, He made for His glory and for His creation.  We should be praising Him for the blessings of life.  

Yet there is the other half.  The deeper half of me!  The other sock!

I often take sole ownership of my possessions and treat them as if their purpose is
merely to satisfy me.  I make use of one half or dimension of what God has given me and discard the other half.

I might be breathing, and living, profiting, and enjoying….. surrounded by family and friends but that does not mean that I am fulfilling the purpose of life.  I can’t live purposefully if I don’t embrace and find my purpose!

There will always be challenges in life.  The Testaments tell us the unique challenges that were faced by God’s people. We also face challenges.   

 Our trials and tribulations are designed to help us unlock our hidden energies and abilities and empower us to exceed even our own expectations!

Life might look like a venue for our hedonistic enjoyment.  Our blessings might seem geared for our benefit only but ultimately, we realized that is a hollow way to live.  It’s a lonely sock. 

                    But I don’t want to be that lonely sock……….I want the full pair!!!