Proudly Humble

Humility is considered a virtue.  Arrogance is an exaggeration of one’s own importance or ability.  Humility therefore is a more desired trait.  However, perhaps we can consider “proud” humility as equally self-centered.

Both arrogance and false humility stem from the ego.  We define ourselves in relation and comparison to other people……either I’m much better than my peers, or I am woefully worse.  Regardless, such a perspective derives from a deep sense of insecurity. 

I didn’t get a degree in psychotherapy.  I am merely an observer of people and how many view themselves…………me included. 

I tend to be somewhat envious of other people’s abilities.  I try not to compare myself with their gifts and talents. However, I must admit fault.

From a spiritual point of view, no human being is in competition with another.  We each have our own unique gifts and potential, as well as a purpose that only we can accomplish.  This gives me hope.

Recognizing that we each have our own inimitable purpose and have been given the gifts to carry it out, makes me more purposeful in what I am to do in my life.  It’s the same for each of you. 

A great teacher once said, “The day you were born is the day God decided that the world could not exist without you, and yet, each of us is just one small piece of an infinitely complex and grand design.” With this thought, we are able to acknowledge and even celebrate ourselves, including our strength and capabilities without compromising the value of humility.

 We need to view ourselves in relationship to our Creator.  A truly humble person is not one who shrinks from a positive self-image but one who is confidently aware of their own value.

Moses was considered to be a most humble man.  Although he was aware of the incredible feats he achieved….standing before the great Pharoah, leading the Israelites out of Egypt, dividing the waters……..he knew that his virtues and achievements were Divine gifts. 

Thus, to see oneself as worthless is not humility.  It is really ingratitude!  God has blessed each one of us with unique qualities so we must utilize and make the most of them.  In fact, it is only when we are aware of our own self-worth that we can be truly humble.  Then we can truthfully ask ourselves, “How am I using the Divine gifts that have been given to me?  Am I reaching my own potential to use these gifts in the best possible way?” 

From this perspective, the awareness of our privileges or proficiencies does not inflate our sense of self-worth and supremacy above others….. rather it fills us with immense sense of gratitude that God has chosen to give each of us these unique gifts! 

Genuine humility means knowing and accepting who we are and who we are not; what we can do and what we cannot do.  With this sense of personal clarity, we are able to see how we fit into the life that we are given.  It is moving beyond ourselves.  We now have the opportunity to recognize, reveal and revel in the gifts of others. 

            “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.”
                                                 (C.S. Lewis)

                                    An Attitude of Gratitude

How grateful are you? Am I?  I take for granted all the goodies in my life.  It’s easy to just assume that I deserve all these luxuries.  My bed is warm, the frig is full, the stove does its thing, and the water is hot for my next shower.   I don’t give any of these blessings a mindful thought.  I just expect them to be there. 

Unfortunately, it seems that society, like me, has become more and more self-consumed and one of the first things to go is the attitude of gratitude.  This approach is a breeding ground for unhappiness.  Suicide rates are climbing, especially among the young.   Many of these kids are from the most affluent in our society.  They have everything yet they have nothing worth living for.  They see their life as useless.  There is no gratitude for what they do have or what they can do for others. 

We take our daily lifestyle for granted and feel that we are entitled to the good in our life, so why should we be grateful?  After all, it’s “what’s coming to me. “If we feel that we deserve it then nothing becomes a gift.  We can’t see anything in life as a blessing.  We work hard, we save, we give to charity……so we should expect good things from that, right?

Here’s a story I read.  In a book by Kristin Neff, she describes a woman who received a 10% raise from her employer with a note telling her how pleased the boss was with her performance.  She immediately called her boyfriend who said they must celebrate with a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant.  As she was leaving work, she heard her co-worker on the phone telling someone that she had received a 15% raise because of her performance! 

Now, the first woman was depressed and felt rejected.  No longer was she happy with her 10% raise…. she no longer saw it as a blessing and to be grateful.  Thus, a sense of entitlement killed her gratitude.

1. We often find it easy to be grateful when things are going our way and are resentful when they are not.
2. Think about three things you feel entitled to in your life that other people would consider blessings (I deserve a vacation for all the good work I do!)
3. There are so many things in our lives that we don’t even recognize as blessings because they are considered “normal.”

Perhaps it might be good for each of us to jot down everything there is to be grateful for that we often take for granted.  (food in the frig; power is on; hot water for my bath; car has gas!!) You specifically want to focus on the ordinary, and each day make sure you note ordinary things you take for granted as blessings.

When we understand that everyday life, even with its problems, is a gift…..  we can escape the trap of an entitlement mentality.

  When we develop an “Attitude of Gratitude,” then we can see and appreciate all our many blessings!     

                                    Enjoy your blessings!

                                                A Timely Matter!!

                 Hurry, hurry.  Rush rush. We all have so much to do.

 Of course, we know this time of year can be stressful.  Mainly, we simply run out of hours in our day.   Yes, I know there are still 24 hours. We use eight of those for sleeping and rest we must go to work……not just in the office but just keeping busy with chores.  The holiday season is especially stressful.  So much to do and so little time.

We are all so busy that most of us only give fleeting thoughts toward managing our God-given time.   We are masters at wasting time.   But we have excuses!

Excuse #1 “If only I had more time”.  This thinking may indicate that we either are involved in areas God never desired, or wasting the time He has given us.  Too much spent time in activities for God and not enough time in His presence (think prayer)

Excuse #2.  “If I had the time that someone else has…….”  God gave each of us 24 hours.   The use of time is a decision process, not a product of fate.

Excuse #3.  “I will make up the time.”   Time is a nonrenewable resource.  Our time is a gift from God.  Once it is gone, it is gone forever.  We cannot produce time, nor can we control it.  We can only manage our lives within it. 

Excuse #4 “Time is money” Time and money are not synonymous.  Lost wealth can be regained, not so with time.  We can earn money, but all the money in the world cannot buy time…….. even one second of time! 

Excuse #5  “Keeping busy, is working for God.”  Not necessarily.  Scripture strongly rebukes slothfulness, yet busyness is not the road to godliness. Our Lord corrected Martha when she was more concerned with dinner plans than listening to Him.  Only obedience can bring godliness and the balance needed in our busy lives. 

The Apostle Paul wrote that we are to pray without ceasing.  Impossible you say??  Perhaps Paul meant that we should be mindful of our time.  This isn’t easy of course and requires diligence.  But as Believers we are to be ever aware of who really is in charge of our life. 

When I’m tasked with chores, I am reminded of thankfulness:   I am reminded that I have a wonderful home; when cooking dinner, that I have food to eat; when washing clothes, that I have something nice to wear.  The list goes on.  That’s thankfulness and using my time in being thankful.    

 God has entrusted to each of us a certain amount of time here on earth; time to serve Him and bring honor to Him.  Time is precious.  More so as we age.  It’s our job to use it wisely in serving Him.  Our choices make the difference.

Moses said it best. “So, teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom” (Ps 90:12)

Servanthood is our highest privilege.  Using our gift of time wisely will bring honor to him and peace to us.  As we minister to others, we use our time wisely; our families and friends will find that they enjoy being with us. 

The wisest and greatest use of our time……. is to use it for that which will outlast time.

The things of God. 

                                                    The Mirror

What do you see when looking in a mirror?  Of course, you see a reflection of yourself.  Not your true self. You see only the reflection of your outward self. 

We want to appear our best in front of others.

 What do people think of me? That’s a futile question.  It’s like asking what color is a mirror?  The mirror is simply a reflection of what stands in front of it.

So too, when you’re guessing what other people are thinking, you’re really only projecting your own feelings onto them. 

An old teacher said……..”We are all mirrors for one another.  When you see things, you don’t like in another person, most likely its actually something you don’t like about yourself.”

Take the person who is convinced people are thinking bad things about him.  Why does he think that?   He imagines they are thinking bad things about him! This may or may not be true, but in the person’s mind, he is convinced they don’t like him.

 The whole business of “what do they think of me” is nothing more than an exercise…….a whole gymnasium………in futility.    

                                    What should you do instead?

Perhaps you shouldn’t care what others think about you.  Your life is between you and God.  Your relationship with Him is forever!

 But now we live in this world.

Humans all communicate.  We communicate by talking with each other. The most basic word necessary for talking to others is of course, “you”.  To effectively communicate with others, you need to have some concept of what the other person is hearing you say.

However, communication isn’t a one-way street!  It is about hearing them………..really hearing and really listening!  This takes a huge amount of cerebral activity.  Your mind must process the information that they are telling you. 

Now you are seeing a reflection of the other person instead of yourself. You are seeing them as an individual. You become aware of their needs and desires.  It’s your opening to avoid thinking only about yourself but focusing on them.

Okay, so you need to ensure others have a good concept of you, what do you do?

Switch the focus.  Drop the “me” paradigm.  In the place of “what are they thinking about me? “ think, what is special and precious about this person. Respect them.  Care about them. Ask, “How are things going for you?”

Now you have made the first big step. You have gotten out of yourself and into the world of the other guy.  You have become a better person. 

So instead of the image you saw in the mirror, you now have a new reflection.   Your image will be softer, sweeter because you have changed the old reflection “of what do they think of me” into “what can I do for them?” 

                                               Empty Pockets!

You have all heard the old saying…….” You can’t take it with you.”  In other words what we have in this life is only good while we are alive and our “pockets” will not be with us in the next world.
               “Well”, you say.  “If I can’t take it with me then I’m not going!! “

Sorry, but it doesn’t work that way.  We are here and this is your life now.  But at some point, (I hate to be gloomy) you and I will die.  People don’t like saying death.   Its more, “passing away”.  Sounds less foreboding. However, death is part of life, and we are aware of death now more than ever.  Having greater access to world events, we are confronted with death every day.

                So, when we die we die and that’s the end of it??

In answering this classic question, we learn a profound life lesson: the life of a righteous person continues even after their physical passing. Life is not the pleasures we encounter; those are transient, passing. What is permanent in life are those things that have made an impact in this world and on the lives of others.

                                                                Transient vs. Eternal

                     There are two contrasting perspectives regarding reality. 

 One approach suggests that if something cannot be perceived with any of the five senses, then it does not exist.  Only if you can see it, hear it, smell it, taste it or touch it, then it is real.

The other perspective is that anything that can be perceived with the senses is temporary. Here, today, gone tomorrow.  Only intangible experiences can represent eternity. 

A six-layer cake is delicious, but it’s not forever.  Its eaten today and nothing is left.
Life is not the pleasures we encounter, those are transient, passing.  What is permanent in life are those things that live after us.

One the other hand, the good and godly aspects of life are lasting.   Good deeds and contributions in this present world…….these are eternal values that will live after we are gone.

The teachings of Jeshua (Jesus) and His Jewish thinking will give us a proper prospective.  The issue of life and death was also on the minds of His followers.

Although the body is interred in the ground, the soul, the true consciousness of the person, the essence of the person, lives on forever.  In the Jewish mind, at some point the soul will be united with the body.  We will be known and will know others.

He told the thief on the cross that he would be given a resting place in Paradise.  We are told about judgements.  We are told to perform acts of kindness to those who need our help or encouragement.  The Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5, gives us an idea of lasting values.

                                So, what is transient and what is eternal?

  It’s our acts of kindness to those who need help or encouragement; going to the world and making disciples; our study of Scripture. These are to be our guiding light. 

                May we all be blessed to lead lives that engage us in the eternal!

                                     Flight Frustrations!!

I imagine that each one of you has an airport story.  Although I haven’t flown lately, I have had my share of flight frustrations! 

The one that really stands out the most happened many years ago.  It is one of my “divine intervention” stories.  I look back and can see how God was making this work in my favor.

I was taking a flight to New Orleans to visit an old musician friend and had left my purse with my tickets, money etc. at home. No internet or cell phones in those days.  I sent Bob home to bring the purse to the airport while I stayed there.  

 It was just about boarding time, and I was in a stew!  Would I miss my flight?  How would I reach my friend who would be waiting for me at the other end? 

As I was pacing back and forth, a man and his little boy appeared in front of me.  He told me face to face……….”It will be alright!”  What made him say that?  I never had met this man.  When I turned around, he and his child were nowhere in sight.   It was strange to me at the time but thinking back, perhaps angels come in all shapes and sizes!

Bob arrived in time with the  purse and I boarded the flight on time! 

Another story

We were in Denver for Bob’s sister’s 70^th birthday.  It was a big family thing and Denver was central to where we could all gather.  I had made flight reservations for our departure at 8:30 AM (I thought) the next day after we had all celebrated together.   We were living in El Paso at that time. 

We arrived at the airport and began checking our bags.  The man said, “You are a bit early for this flight, aren’t you?”  I had made the reservations for 8:30 PM not 8:30 AM!!

At that time the Denver airport was in the middle of nowhere and what would we do for the next 12 hours?  The man told us there was a flight leaving for El Paso, but  it would be boarding within the next 35 minutes.  That meant we had to go through security and find the gate. This was no small feat.  Our gate was at the other end of the long airport and down two flights of stairs……….then more walking.

We hurriedly got through security and found the gate. People were standing in line waiting to board. I told the hostess our problem.  She said that there was a chance of a “no show” but five people were already on the wait list.  I told her I would take the toilet seat! She laughed and said that it was already taken!

When the flight was ready to board, they called our name!  We were able to get a seat and a safe flight to El Paso. 

While pondering on this, I found myself becoming more relaxed and actually quite serene about the whole frustrating experience. Yes, we must do our part; we must give it our best shot. But beyond that, it’s God’s department.

If we can develop this attitude — and, believe me, I also need to develop it further — we will all be better able to cope with the disappointments we so often face in life.  It’s all in His hands.

So even if nothing amazing occurred, I became far more aware that God, and not I, is the controller of this universe.

                           The famous Serenity Prayer is quite appropriate.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference…”

May all your journeys be safe and successful and may you get to your destinations on time. And even if you don’t, don’t sweat it.

He is in charge.

                                    A Crisis of Faith

Question:
With all the tragedy and suffering in the world, how am I supposed to have faith?  Look what is happening around us.  I would like to feel faith, but it doesn’t come.  It seems irrational. 

Response: 
Faith……. what a laden word!  I am envious when I encounter someone with faith so strong and simple that nothing can shake it.  For some of us, however, faith is a decision, not just a feeling.    And sometimes that decision is just way too difficult to make at an any given moment.  But if we abandon our faith……. even that feeling……what reason would be left in life?  There would be no meaning if there were nothing in which to believe. 

When we act on that small seed of whatever faith we now have, that faith seems to grow within us.  We may encounter small sometimes meaningless happenings, and we find that little spark of faith sets in motion something deep within us. 

I am blessed with children, and when each one was born, I was overwhelmed with love for that child.   I have a file of articles that I clipped from papers and magazines about children, pets or just humorous.   Ann Landers was one of my favorites.  One article was an interview with a woman who had many children.  The writer asked her if she had a favorite one.  She said, “Of course I do.  “It’s the one who is sick until he or she gets well, and the one who is gone, until they get home.”

That might describe our faith. The mother’s response concerns the faith that we don’t have at the moment we want it.  However, faith isn’t something that we can just conjure up ourselves. We always want more. We want to find meaning in whatever is happening to us and in the world. 

The Lord spoke of having only a mustard seed of faith.  Even that isn’t easy at times, and yet as I write, I realize that even though I feel I may be lacking in faith….. it is there all along.  My heart may be hurting but my brain reminds me faith is real and there is a God and He is good.   When I’m in pain, that faith may be cloudy, but I know it’s there.

                      God is good, He is faithful…….That’s all we need! 

                                     Helping Candle Lighters

                     It is human nature to help others in need. 

See that woman looking cross and angry?  How can I help?  See the look of that of the guy sitting on the curb? He might be hungry.  We want to help him.  It’s what we do as humans. 

However, the urge to give can sometimes be self-serving, especially when it leaves the recipient in a state of interminable dependence.  To give someone the gift of independence, however, is to help them stand on their own two feet. 

I have a friend who is a mentor at HopeWorks.  It is a Christian outreach here in Memphis.  People come and go but each one has a special need of some sort and they come seeking advice or help.  It’s all about helping people help themselves.

We as parents have this impulse to constantly tend to our children’s every whim and wants.  But our job is not to focus on what they want but on their needs.  We want to develop in them the necessary skills for them to succeed in life on their own.  We want to raise well-adjusted independent human beings!

So, it must be with our interactions with those in need.  You and I must help them to be able to help themselves.  As the famous saying goes: “Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day: teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.” 

One might think that a gift is nobler than a loan: after all, a loan is returned, while a gift requires us to give by helping someone in need without repayment.  That’s true.  We do give gifts of charity.  Seeing someone who is lacking in the necessities of life requires us to give without expecting anything in return. However, I am talking about dependency.

 Even loans might not be good.  The loaner expects to have the loan paid back at some point.  The loanee, even with a written agreement, ofttimes neglect repayment or else now avoids you completely.  Thereby you have lost both money and also lost a friend.  

We might apply loaning and giving to education.  It should be the goal of educators to convey information so that students are able to provide for themselves and not simply regurgitate what they have heard the professors say.  The objectives should be educating students to be well-adjusted human beings, enabling them to become independently proficient and empowering them to study and acquire knowledge on their own.

All these insights underscore the same basic truth. Whether we are talking about someone’s financial, educational, or spiritual needs, the greatest gift one can give another is the resources and skills necessary for them to provide for themselves and take charge of their own destiny.

Here is a story that I heard years ago.   A famous teacher invited students to his home to study by asking questions and giving answers. There was a lone candle on the mantal of the fireplace which was unlit.   After a long period of discussion one of his students who had noticed the candle asked the teacher.  “Are you ready to light the candle?  No, said the teacher.  I provide the candle and I provide you with the match.  Only you can light your own candle.”

              You must now help someone be their own candlelighter.

Did The Devil Make Me Do It?

                If the Devil made me do it then I’m not responsible!
 When reading Genesis we see that God’s first family is in big trouble. There is already jealousy and hatred.  Hatred enough to kill. 

God has always given man a choice. 

We can learn an important lesson from the story of Cain and Abel and how we are the masters of making our own decisions. 

Cain was an agrarian, one who worked the land and Abel was a herdsman raising livestock.  They both brought offerings before the Lord. 

As the story goes, God accepted Abel’s offering but rejected Cain’s.  You know the story.  (Genesis 4: (2-5)

Because Cain was jealous of his brother, Abel, he lured his brother out into a field where he killed him.  Before this happened, however, the Lord noticed Cain’s sullen attitude and his resentment toward his brother.  He warned Cain about this, saying:

            “Why are you angry, and why has your face fallen?  If you do well, will you not be accepted?  And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door.  Its desire is for you, but you must rule over it.  (Gen: 4: 6-7) 

In His admonition to Cain, the Lord made it clear that he, Cain, had the ability to overcome the cancer of sin that was growing in his heart.  He told Cain that his choices and his actions would set the stage for whether or not sin would be able to dominate him.  He was letting Cain know that the choice was fully in his hands not some outside force (Satan). Cain was not merely the victim of his sinful nature but had the ability to conquer it! 

We would all do well to heed the Lord’s instruction to Cain.  Every day we each have a choice as to what we will do.  We can listen to the lies of the Adversary,
( aka Satan) or we can listen to the truth of what God tells us. 

An old rabbi once said, “When we first give in to sin it seems as thin and breakable as a spider’s web. But through our continued submission to sin it will eventually become as thick and as strong as a ship’s rope.”

When we “flee” from sin we are strengthened in our connection to God.  It will make it easier to choose what is right and resist temptation when we face our next decision. 

“Am I my brother’s keeper?” didn’t work for Cain, nor his mother, Eve, blaming the serpent.  Just like us, they were both accountable for their actions.  James, the brother of our Master Jeshua/Jesus confirms this by telling us………….

“Each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived, gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. (James 1:14-15)

We all have the ability to make either good choices or bad choices.  When we are faced with temptation, we must remember God’s instruction to Cain, “You  must rule over it.” 

                The choice is yours……..The Devil Didn’t Make You Do It!!

Have You Got a Chunk of God?

                         Imagine you woke up one morning to discover that God had just placed a chunk of Himself inside you.  What would be your expectations?  That you would be invincible, omnipotent, capable of leaping tall buildings in a single bound!!  Wait, that was Superman.  But now you could be more than a Superman!   

                                                   Look and see!

See that elderly man suffering from dementia?  He has a chunk of God inside him.

See that obnoxious bully making trouble on the playground?  He too has a chunk of God. 

                                                And so do you!      

It’s right there in the story of the Creation.   The first human beings in Genesis.  After God created Adam, He “blew into his nostrils the breath of life.” So, God implanted a sample of Himself into all human beings.  So, is that the end of God’s chunk?  Did it all end at the beginning? 

Because God is perfect in all aspects, we are given only a sample of his essence.

So, when the waiter brings you a sip of wine from the bottle, you aren’t getting the whole thing but with one sample you’ve tasted all of it! So too, with that one God chunk/breath/ sample inside you, you’ve got all of Him.  God uploaded the essence of His Being into you as a human.  Just as He did to Adam. 

But hey, if you suffer pain and get in trouble, in what way is this chunk inside you? 

He has given us the power of choosing. He has given us mores and values and rules and desires and hopes and dreams. He has placed us in an imperfect world where bad things do happen to good people.

                                       All this comes from Him.
But what about the Bad Guys…..don’t they have that chunk of God?

Of course, but they have chosen to ignore it or never realized the chunk in the first place.  Helping those who have ignored the neshamah (Hebrew for spirit) becomes the work to those of us who realize the reality of that little piece of God within us.  It’s not an easy task but this is what God desires of us.  

However, when we really look around us and let go of our own egos in order to bring about the reality of God to others, we now read the Gospels with the realization that Jeshua was distilling this God chunk into His disciples and now into us.

We are only mere humans but what a gift we have!  It’s God’s giving us a piece of Himself. 

            It’s that chunk of God that gives us hope and true peace.