Is Chivalry Dead?

Perhaps you imagine Knights in shining armor.  An image of King Arthur or Sir Galahad fighting to save the lovely maiden locked in the tower!   Or some Victorian gentlemen laying down his coat in the street so  the fair lady wouldn’t get her feet wet or spoil her dress.

All this may seem rather antique to us living in the 21^st c. However, with the advent of the women’s lib movement, many of the courtesies that were bestowed on women have now become obsolete in the pervading attitudes of today’s world.    Some women regard chivalric gestures by men, such as holding open a door, giving up a seat on the bus, or paying  a bill in a restaurant as insults, as demeaning signals of oppression and male chauvinism and are happy to see chivalry vanquished by our modern age. ,

But what exactly do we mean by chivalry?  Should we celebrate it or mourn its loss?  It is really dead or is it disguised in a different look?

According to my dictionary, chivalry is a “combination of qualities expected of an ideal knight, especially courage, honor, courtesy, justice and readiness to help the weak!”  Are not these fine qualities?

Wouldn’t decent parents want to raise their sons with these virtues for living an honorable life? Wouldn’t women seeking marriage treasure a man with these attributes?  Everyone wants to be treated with courtesy…….even those women who claim they are completely independent of such niceties!!  Girls must present themselves as ladies and not lower their expectations of themselves or how they want to be treated by boys. 

Women often deplore the lack of courtesy and chivalry among men, yet they, too, must bear some of the responsibility for this decline. 

“This generation of women have become independent and headstrong, and nothing is wrong with that.  However, the problem comes when women want to be independent to the point that they don’t want men to do anything for them.” written by a 19 year old girl.  Another woman wrote…….”Men only changed because women did.  That’s because men are born to please women.  (Adam/Eve?) Modern women don’t know this, for they have been conditioned to think of men as oppressors!  Both genders are at fault here.”

Radical feminism accounts for part of this decline in male chivalry.  When a man feels unneeded he is not apt to go out of his way to meet someone else’s standards.  Women who want a man to be a gentleman must first themselves be ladies. Perhaps some of the fault lies with Mothers.  Perhaps we have neglected to raise our sons with the idea of chivalry.  From the time they are young we need to teach our sons that women are  to be treated with respect.

When I was a child, my parents subscribed to a magazine called “Highlights for Children” and featured a monthly comic strip called “Goofus and Gallant.”  Goofus was a self-centered, mean spirited kid while Gallant was polite, helpful and kind.  There was no question as to who they were…. based on their behavior. 

If we want to raise our children with these same ideals and if we ourselves want to practice them,  we must bring to bear this same clear distinction.  No one can resuscitate the ideals of chivalry, except us. 

If we want to revive Gallant we must say good bye to Goofus!.